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By the time a mom pours her first cup of coffee, she’s already made a dozen decisions no one sees: what to pack for lunch, which kids need sneakers for gym, whether there’s enough milk for tomorrow, and which babysitter to call for that last-minute vort.
All of this.
Before coffee.
The Work Nobody Talks About
We hear plenty about the physical work of motherhood - the cooking, the laundry, the carpools, the shopping, but there’s another layer that’s rarely acknowledged: the mental load.
It’s the constant stream of invisible tasks running in the background - an endless loop of planning, remembering, coordinating, and worrying, often all at once.
A mother’s brain juggles dozens of threads every day:
• Did I sign the permission slip?
• Whose turn is it to bring cupcakes for Morah’s Shabbos party?
• Are we almost out of diapers?
• Did anyone RSVP to the birthday party yet?
The tabs are always open.
Why It Feels So Heavy
Unlike a job with defined hours, motherhood never really ends. There’s no “off switch,” just a nonstop cycle of decisions, problem-solving, and logistics. And because so much of this work is invisible, it can feel like no one notices how much we carry.
There’s no applause when you remember to refill prescriptions, hem the pants, or send the show-and-tell item in on time, but forget one thing, and suddenly it feels like everything unravels.
And beyond the to-do lists, there’s emotional bookkeeping: holding space for our kids’ feelings, their social lives, tracking milestones and setbacks, scheduling therapy appointments, dentist visits, vaccinations, school forms, laundry cycles, dietary restrictions - all while trying to stay present, patient, and loving.
It’s a lot. And it’s okay to admit that.
Giving Yourself Permission
Here’s what’s often forgotten, needing a break doesn’t make you any less of a wonderful mother. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re failing, and it certainly doesn’t mean you love your children or your role any less. It simply means you’re human.
do everything alone.
Motherhood is beautiful. It’s a role filled with love, meaning, and purpose, but it’s also demanding in ways we rarely name. When we pause to acknowledge all that we do, we give ourselves and each other permission to breathe, to feel seen, and to be understood.
Most importantly, it allows us to feel deeply proud and empowered by the remarkable job we do each day as mothers.